loving connections
reflections with and within changes and songs
first, the whistled song embedded in this piece is a gift of medicine.. i don't know what it offers to heal.. i only know it as medicine.. and i hope it helps <3
and now, a very libra(tory) message from 2011 justin.. "There is a balance in this world Of good and of evil Of love and of hate So please, I beg you This world needs not salvation For that would mean its destruction Instead, for those of good will and of good hope Heal yourself Be the change Be the love So when you step atop this scale And you see others on both sides Jumping up and hurtling their weight down When they are in the air gaining momentum You will sit And the world will know peace"
t'was my first translation of sensing another way of relating within binary systems.. peaceful transitions are still my guiding nudges.. sitting is still my go-to choice.. and also i sense the call to stand up.. i sense a song pleading to be heard and translated into action.. it is a song of lament.. it is a song of resilience.. it is a song of healing.. it is a song of remembering our interdependence.. and doing something to nurture it.. to nurture us is the compassionate gift of this song.. to guide us into action is the wisdom of this song.. and to remember what being in right relationship feels like is the abundant peace and community of this song's offering..
one of the many parts of this song, a collaboration from the Yoruba peoples, our whale-kin, and Michaela Harrison and her ancestors:
Michaela's words from an article about her work/play with the whales and the songs they're co-creating: "I go out to sea to sing with the whales and co-create songs with them, which is what Whale Whispering is about. The inspiration came from being continuously involved in evolving my relationship with my ancestors and understanding how I have been carrying forth legacies, of trauma, resilience and victory mentality. This work is related to the Middle Passage (when enslaved Africans were transported to the Americas as a part of a triangular trading route) and particularly to the ways in which people who made that crossing found the ability to live through that crossing, even if it wasn't for the entire crossing. How did anybody survive that even for a day? Singing is one of the things that we've done throughout this trajectory that has gotten us over. And the ancestors have made it clear to me that this was no different during the Middle Passage. The whales, as they do, incorporate songs from the environment as well as the sounds from the environment, into their songs. They incorporated and stored in their songs essential aspects of what they heard from the Africans crossing over on the ships. Deep listening to spirits, to ancestors, and to the whales themselves to co-create songs that tap into that miracle survival power through music, through the songs, and bringing that forth in new creative form. The combination of connecting with the whales in person and being engaged in that work around the Middle Passage brought the awareness of what this work was supposed to be about-- which is also, beyond just the Middle Passage, about our relationship to water and the environment and tapping into this healing power that the whales carry and that we have the ability to engage with. Art is a crucial key to shifting and shaping perspectives on what is possible and how we can dream new ways of being present and taking responsibility for the part that we each have in making this world either a more or less viable habitat for all who dwell here, including Earth herself."
this part of this song resonates deeply within my perceptions and translations of and relationship to our collective, and my personal, experiencing of being.. what feels clear for me is that another way of being cannot be practiced without a remembering of the Middle Passage.. nor without a relationship to Manifest Destiny.. nor without a perception and choice of translation of the genocides currently being orchestrated and executed.. and within these practices, practicing a middle way is just one of many ways to experience realities through and beyond binaries..
i embody and identify within cultural binaries-- within my whiteness.. within my non-indigeneity.. within my cis-gendered maleness and heterosexuality.. and within my practices, i've longed to arrive at a home beyond the binaries.. to find community there.. to establish and nurture roots there.. i've looked in places that reminded me so very much of this home-- within our Black, Indigenous, and People Of Color-kin.. within our non-binary and queer kin.. it took the compassion and wisdom of many living elders to help me sense clearly that my roots did not belong to any of these places.. at least not in the way i was searching for.. and after this isolating understanding, there was still this longing.. and some intuitive knowing.. that i could find this sense of home through and beyond the binary spaces of my being..
through the binary spaces of my being.. not bypassing them..
my whiteness.. its roots of supremacy.. and our ancestral participation within the Middle Passage.. my non-indigeneity.. its roots of settler colonialism.. and my ancestral participation within Manifest Destiny.. my cis-gendered maleness and heterosexuality.. its roots of patriarchy.. and my participation within appropriation of queerness.. my 'us versus them' perspective.. its roots of capitalism.. and our participation within current genocides..
notice the use of possessive pronouns there.. both 'my' and 'our'.. this is both personal and collective.. this is rooted within the ecologies of both our independence and interdependence.. and they are in reciprocal relationship to one another.. and i don't mean mathematically reciprocal.. like 2011 justin meant.. i mean metaphorically reciprocal.. a sense of interchangeability.. sort of like chopping wood and carrying water.. and it is with and within our relationships.. this one and others.. that we can begin moving through a binary perspective.. guided by our embodied feelings of a song within spectral ways of being and spectrums of relational possibilities..
from sitting to standing.. from a middle way to a spectral way and the spaces and paces between them.. there and here are choices of relations and relationships.. choices of who is kin and who is 'other'.. and how the one and the many will relate..
i've been both there and here for quite a time now.. (not as in a long time.. .. as in it's been quite a time) and one sense i've remembered by way of practicing a radical imagination of relational possibility.. is that if i curl up into a ball and hold on to myself.. while in a body of water that is in a body of water.. i can sink for as long as i can hold my breath i can dive.. the depths can be so very frigid.. and isolating.. and terrifying.. and seemingly never-ending.. and seemingly ever-beginning.. and encouraging.. and collaborative and they can be so very welcoming.. and if you can imagine it.. there is earth there.. Earth is there.. and still curled up, my feet can feel the saturated-with-life soils and my toes can be tickled with playful joy.. and i can remember the sense of everything being connected.. even within those depths of depths Earth can be there connecting all of us with and within the beautiful waters nurturing us all..
and a whole bunch of other peeps are there and here.. such an immense and beautiful diversity of peoples.. and i've been nurturing relationships with and within some of them.. and we've sort of been collaborating on some projects together.. though most times it feels like it's a sort of 'coevolution through friendship' practice.. these peeps are some of my gentle, sincere, curious, courageous, playful, kind and loving ancestors.. dear and wise cannabis.. fungal friends.. the mycelial networks with and within the ancient growth redwood forest ecosystems.. and the beautiful, miraculous, living waters of change.. and with and within all these peoples.. and all their immensely beautiful ways of being.. i and we practice remembering how i and we can nurture our reciprocal relations and be in authentic, organic, healthy, present, healing, nourishing, well-boundaried, interdependent, and just relationships..
"Healing is a school. Everything we learn along the way is meant to be shared widely." -- Chani Nicholas i have been in school, y'all.. and it's about time to begin sharing more widely.. this first glimpse of an unfurling solo and group project is a reflection of a change of relationship and the loving connections (t)herein..
it is a transitional guide for binary minds.. and it is especially useful for narcissistic, patriarchal, white supremacist, settler-colonial, capitalistic, cis-heteronormative minds..
this guide is linguistically hued.. as it reverberates with and within our imaginations.. something is sensed.. a song is felt.. this is a translation of the feeling of that song.. this is a practice of being in relationship with and within transitions.. this is a way to heal and nurture our shared ecologies.. while practicing self-healing and self-nurturing.. and embodying a reciprocal relationship between 'self' and 'other'.. this is a guide to sensing the surface and the depths, not as two sides of the same coin, but as two of many possible dimensions.. the spaces and times between binary and spectral realities are expanding and contracting and slowing and speeding.. polarity is only one of many possible relationships.. only one of many possible systems of change.. and hierarchy is not the only other possibility.. not the only other way to relate to one another.. binary is not a limitation.. it is a boundary.. and boundaries can help protect us.. as well as harm us.. boundaries can be expressed in many ways.. this guide is rooted within Prentis Hemphill's translation: "boundaries are the distance at which i can love you and me simultaneously" we can all be living bridges whose breadths can change with and within a moment.. this is a collection of reflective practices with and within collective movements of liberations.. the linguistic hues of this guide are a spectrum of relational possibility.. a juxtaposition of varied depths and diverse perspectives.. this spectrum may be difficult to sense at first.. especially for those of us who embody many binaries.. carry many polarities in our minds.. and hold on to many ultimatums in our hearts.. it is there.. it can be here, too.. and this is a way to practice sensing and nurturing the reciprocal relationships with and within '(t)here'..
(t)here is a song y'all.. and it is a'changing.. and we can remember how to consciously choose to participate.. to co-create and nurture.. to sit and to stand.. alone and together..
i love y'all.. our living elder, adrienne maree brown, will see us out as they move us forward.. collective liberation, let's be it <3
"sometimes what is happening in the world is so terrifying and urgent that we forget our complexity, or wonder why take time on ourselves or our friendships when there is so much work to do. what i am noticing is that it is not a privilege to practice coevolution through friendship – it is the deepest work. i believe it is how communities have survived. i believe it is harriet tubman going back to free others, because it wasn’t enough to free only herself. i believe it is ubuntu active in my life. i believe it is the freedom that we are longing for, which will never be given to us, which we have to create, the pulsing life force of the collective body we are birthing, the rhythm of a shared heart."