re(-)membering agency

sensing and relating with(in) boundaries

an ancient grove of elders.. 
a mist of electric permeability..
abundant tapestries of mutualistic interdependence..
and feeling the re(-)membering of a living home of many peoples.. 

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many of the most impactful lessons i have learned are acts of remembering..
and if i can let go of the defensive tendencies i cling to.. 
if i can release the armors that shield me from receiving these reminders..
the teachers are everywhere..

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this past November, after one and a half moon cycles of nurturing seeds of new patterns.. not a drop of alcohol.. walking ~20 miles a week.. blessing with song, sharing with land, and drinking with gratitude, water with omi-o energies.. 
feeling as clear and grounded as i ever have.. overflowing with gratitude and a willingness to give love and receive guidance.. i returned to the ancient growth redwood forest ecosystems..

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before beginning the hike down to the alluvial plain, where an ancient grove of elders are rooted.. i ceremoniously invited dear, wise elders cannabis and psilocybin mushroom into my body-heart-mind.. traces of them.. so that we could feel each other within our peripheries.. not full and center.. leaving plenty of porous space for the echoes of the ecosystems we would be communing with(in) soon..

by the time i/we reached the flatness of the plain.. the fullness of the complexity reached our/my shared space.. and the body-heart-mind that was mine became the bodies-hearts-minds that is ours.. 
our interweaving felt reflective of the tapestry of interconnected life all around us.. and as i slid off my shoes and socks, planting bare soles upon the ground.. it's as if a circuit that had been blocked was now completed.. connected.. energy free to flow.. and the abundance all around could be felt flowing, surging within and underneath.. closing my eyes, one hand on my heart, the other open in the misty air.. an atmosphere of conductivity.. an ec(h)osystem of abundant collaboration.. mutually thriving for many millions of years.. and a sensation of being welcomed home..

as i approached the first elder, i noticed there was a decaying wooden barrier just a foot or so high.. i thought, "we're family.. i'm not going to just stay here and say hello from a distance.. i'm going to go greet them, skin-to-skin.. hand-to-trunk".. 

and so i did a little hop over the short, dilapidated boundary.. and began to close the 30-ft. gap between us.. head down, watching out for any sharp sticks to keep the bare feet safe.. and with about 10 ft. to go, i walked into something and was stopped in my tracks.. 

i felt the something across my forehead.. and i swiped at it, heart suddenly racing.. thinking it was spider-web, waving my hands around my head for any remnants.. and not feeling any.. and noticing there weren't any shrubs close enough for a web to extend across this path.. and then realizing there was nothing on my hands or brow.. and then panicking as i realized the something didn't feel like a web at all.. it was diffuse.. spreading across my entire brow.. like a thick mist.. and then i looked straight ahead.. to the ancient, giant elder rooted there before me..

and a knowing flowed through me.. 
"we are both people.. and we both have boundaries.. and i just tried to cross theirs without asking for any permission, nor waiting for any invitation.. and that is not okay.. that is not how to be in 'right' relationship"..

guilt and shame tried to roar their ways into my being, but they could not.. this wise and compassionate elder was holding me.. from a respectful distance.. with wholehearted and gentle kindness.. 

humility and awe and love came gently and swiftly flooding into this shared ec(h)osystem instead.. 

and my eyes reciprocated this gift with the flow of my tears falling onto this shared Earth between us.. i bowed my head, with one hand on my heart and another open towards the elder.. "thank you for sharing this wisdom.. thank you for sharing this reminder.. i'm sorry i forgot.. i can and i will change this pattern of behavior.. this way of being in relationship.. thank you.. i love you"..

i stood there, eyes closed.. and body-heart-mind.. bodies-hearts-minds wholly open.. and when i opened my eyes.. the elder was no longer the only other person there.. the only thing i could sense.. was people.. 

every plant.. every leaf.. every rock.. every breath of air and mist and spore and dust.. people..

i closed my eyes again.. and through my bare-feet.. i sensed for all the life beneath the surface.. many millions of miles of fungal mycelium.. thousands of trillions of bacteria and other microorganisms.. people.. people.. people..

and as i left this elder.. this teacher.. this person.. and continued walking amongst all the others.. overflowing with(in) gratitude and love.. wandering and wondering amongst all these people.. streams of thoughts flowed on by..
"what kind of world could we co-create if we could sense everything as 'people'.. not just humans.. not just pets.. not just animals.. not just macroorganisms.. not just biotic, 'living' matter.. everything.. everywhere.. all of it alive.. all of us living.. alone, with boundaries, yes.. and also.. together, within communities.. what kinds of communities could exist if being in 'right' relationship included the 'rights' of all the parts of all the ecosystems.. and of the 'whole'.. of Earth.. of Earth and all Earth's kin.. all of us members of one global community.. all of us with boundaries to acknowledge and respect.. all of us with agency.. and all of us in 'right' relationship.. with and within each other"..

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some of the most impactful lessons we can learn are acts of re(-)membering..
and if we can let go of the defensive tendencies we cling to.. 
if we can release the armors that shield us from receiving these reminders..
the teachers.. the elders.. the people are everywhere..
and the wisdoms they offer are reflective of nurturing agency and boundaries.. of being  in right relationship with(in) this shared home of abundance..
Earth's abundance is life.. flowing towards life..
Earth's abundance is alive.. 
Earth is alive..

..why not try to re(-)member?..